but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
