Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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