I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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