you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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