look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
