I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
