so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
