is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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