I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize