I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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