i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
