Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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