you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize