Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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