dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
