how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
