He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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