oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
