brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
