I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
lets start a swedish sibling band together
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
