Your dad touched me again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
