last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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