whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
