Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
