I'm really into asian looking animals
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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