Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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