This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
