Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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