Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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