Nicole vs. Life
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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