you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
