Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
