He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
