I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
