Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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