If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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