the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
