Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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