He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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