so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
