it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
