I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
