we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
