instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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