bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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