he puts the penis in happiness.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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