whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
