If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
