You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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