ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
