47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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