last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
is it fun? or sober?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
