I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
