Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
