I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
