You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
