she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
