No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am midnight drunk by noon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I checked into jail on foursquare
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
