I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
well you can't waste a boner
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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