Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
