laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
zippers are such a cool invention
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
